Posted by: heddam | 18 October 2010

I want to…

Last night I went to the 32nd annual Cattle Baron’s Gala for the American Cancer Society. While the emcee was trying to raise money I got more and more angry. People were dropping thousands of dollars for cancer and weren’t batting an eye. Now, don’t get me wrong. I know this was a good cause. I wonder, though, why it is so hard to raise money for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness and/or Prematurity Awareness.

When I started feeling better after Garrett passed away I tried to figure out some way I could help others who were going through what I had been through. I never did nail down what I could do or where the need was. I tried to plug in to the March of Dimes, but everything we did was so poorly organized that I couldn’t stand to keep going.

I want to make a difference with this issue that is so near and dear to my heart. The best way I know how is to start a non-profit organization. I just don’t know how to go about doing it. I don’t even where to start.

Posted by: heddam | 20 September 2010

Welcome back

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. We, as a family, have been making a lot of changes. More importantly, today is the seventh anniversary of the passing of Garrett. I was going to start blogging on his birthday, but didn’t get it done, so I thought today would be a good day to start. I’m not in a good emotional place to blog, but I want my son to know that we love him and miss him dearly every day.

I need to start blogging again. I have found myself in a slump of sorts lately. Somehow, just writing stuff out here helps me work through things in my own head. So while this post is short, I will be back. Maybe not daily, but hopefully more than once every nine months.

Posted by: heddam | 15 January 2010

Big Decisions

I suppose I need to go back and catch up on that list of things that was going on in December. The number one thing my friends keep asking about is the big decision. Actually, it was two big decisions. I had already made one and it came to fruition when I came back to work. The other had been in the works for quite some time and was finally nailed down over the holidays.

When Garrett was born, I knew that when he finally came home I would not be able to put him daycare. Preemies are too prone to getting sick especially in the winter months and it turning into RSV which is very deadly for them. I decided that I would go back to work until he was almost ready to come and then I would quit and stay home with him. Then he passed away and that was that.

We moved and Neely was unable (so he says) to find a job, so when Weeman was born he stayed home with him. When Weeman was 6 months old, Neely went to Iraq for year. Two months before he left I had been diagnosed with borderline severe depression. I only had one week to decide if I was going to continue working or stay home. Gran and I decided it would be best for me to keep working, because we were both concerned that my depression would get worse if I had no set reason to leave the house everyday.

When Slurpee was born this past year I longed to stay home with her. It was an absolute foreign feeling to me. I have never thought of myself as a SAHM. I have been in my current job for a little less than two years and have not been really happy since about the third month I was hear. I decided last September that I would leave my job and stay home with the kids at the end of January.

You have to be wondering why I waited so long after making the decision. First, I was using the insurance from my job for Slurpee’s genetic testing. The earliest appointment we could get for that was November. So, I had to at least work through November. Then the state I work for furloughed its employees for six days this fiscal year. Four of those days were to be added to our Christmas break but the money would be taken out one day per month starting in September. Even if you quit you wouldn’t get that money back. If they were going to take my money, I wanted my days off. Jussayin’!

So, January 29 will be my last day working in the corporate world. Hopefully, I will be able to survive being a SAHM. I know Weeman needs me at home to help with school. He’s having issues with his teacher. I’ll have to tell you that story later.


Our other big decision is that we have decided to move to the big state of TEXAS!!!!!

Yeah, yeah. Big deal! Well, for us it is. When we first got married, Neely was stationed in Washington, DC. He eventually got out of the Army, but we stayed there. It took me seven years to get out of there and move home to be close to my parents. Weeman has been six miles for my parents his entire life. We eat dinner together several times a week.

About a year after Neely returned from Iraq he was able to turn his reserve job into a mobilization and stay home at the same time. He decided at this point that he wanted to career out with the Army. (He never should have gotten out in the first place. I tried to tell him.) The post he is currently stationed is on the BRAC list and is scheduled to close in June 2011. There is nowhere close to Mom and Dad for us to go.

My brother, I think I call him GI Joe, is stationed in Texas. He’s been there several times and absolutley loves it. He’s four years from retiring from the Army. He and Neely are best friends. He has tried to talk us in to moving there for a couple of years.

Neely kept talking about moving to Tampa or back to DC or going to a post that is close during the week and then coming home on the weekends. None of those really appealed to me. I still wanted to be close to family. I guess losing a child will show you how important family is.

While everyone was at my house for Christmas, GI Joe and his wife kept talking up Texas and finally we said, OK. We’re coming. So, that’s it. This summer we’ll be headed to Texas. I’m not sure Gran will let the children leave, but ….

I’m torn. I’m excited and I’m sad. At this point, I’m not ready to talk about that. I’ll save that and the house selling for other posts.

Posted by: heddam | 12 January 2010

7 months

It’s a good thing Baby Center sends me weekly emails. I might have missed that today Slurpee is actually 7 months. I know it’s so cliche to say, but time is really flying by.

For Pete's sake Mom!!

 I’m a little behind with my updates (and yes, that would be an understatement) so you can see that now she can sit up. Well, kind of sit up. She wobbles and sometimes falls over. She hasn’t quite grasped the whole sitting up thing yet.

She can roll from from to back and back to front, but hasn’t figured out that you can use that as a mode of transportation. Thank God!

She is absolutely enamoured with her brother. Whenever he is playing she watches him run back and forth. Just this past weekend I had to make him leave the kitchen so that she would pay attention to me while I tried to feed her. He wasn’t acting up, just being 5 and she wouldn’t stop watching him.

I heard her first belly laughs this weekend.

She has giggled a lot, but this is the first time I have heard big belly laughs. It warmed my heart to hear it. We have been stuck in the house for pretty much the whole weekend after school was canceled Friday because of a “snow” storm we got and the temperatures have not gotten above freezing until today. It was nice to have something to entertain us for a few minutes.

Slurpee’s six month well check had to be put off for a few weeks because she had an ear infection and the doctor won’t see them if they are just a little sick. She went this past Thursday for that check. She weighed 14 pounds and 14 ounces. She was 25 and 3/4 inches long and had a 17 inch head. She’s still pretty small for her age, even considering that she was premature.

She has started eating fruits and veggies and seems to like everything except green beans. She still spits those back out at me. She will eat them, but I know she prefers not to. She hasn’t started holding her bottles yet. I’m looking forward to that day so that we can start working her toward a sippy cup. She wants to drink everything that we have so I don’t think that will be a hard transition.

She has started moving backward. It is kind of an inchworm thing. You can put her in one spot and when you come back she has moved backward a ways. You have to keep an eye on her now or she’ll end up under something and you won’t be able to find her.

She has also figured out that she can use her hands to pick up stuff. She constantly moves her fingers in a pinching motion kind of like a crab. She wants to grap everything and hold it and of course, put it in her mouth.

She is my social butterfly. She smiles at everyone. She’s not afraid of anyone. Anyone can take her and walk away and she doesn’t get upset at all. The only time she gets mad is if she’s left in a room alone. She always has to be where the action is. This is the child I’m going to be hunting down in the mall in a few years. Lord, please be with me.

Posted by: heddam | 29 December 2009


I didn’t even realize I hadn’t blogged in over a month. Things have been that crazy. Geez. We have been through our first parent/teacher conference, Thanksgiving, a trip to Tampa for the ACC Championship, the 6 month mark, our 13 year anniversary, crazy Christmas shopping, youth Christmas parties, Dad’s almost heart attack and 2 days in the hospital, Sparky’s two trips to the ER and subsequent passing of kidney stones, Christmas, the decision to move and my crazy mother-in-law.

I always complain that I have nothing to blog about. I guess the preceding paragraph would tell a different story. I will have to get busy with catching you guys up on what I’ve been doing, but that will have to wait until I can get the house clean, the lock-in planned for the youth for New Year’s Eve and get ready to go back to work on Monday.

Big decisions have been made that I will have to share after I go back to work. I promise to come back. Don’t forget about me. I have new pictures too. They are too cute.

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